Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Fate
I realise its been long since i blogged.
but today i had enough emotion baggage to let all of it out.
well i had my holidays. it was nothing much mostly
but i knew a girl through my friends that i met at first sight.
that i realli would fall in love with her.
she would appear distant yet close.
she is open yet so close
she has beautiful eyes with or without contacts.
and she is cheerful at best.
i loved her pouts.
though i never got to know her well enough.
but i know the holiday i had even not being with her
made my day.
but she has alot of past behind her. her ex is in her class and she is still friends with him
its hard to ignore but for her i wouldnt care if her ex lived next to her.
i would chase her to the either ends of the world if i would have the chance
she always wanted to know why i like no why i loved her
i always said love transends reasons. sometimes i feel pain just beside her.
being with her brought out me. onli had another girl did that b4. and i promised her i wont mention her again.
and said suddenly one day or maybe over the days.
she wanted me to give up.
on her.
i am not on equal frequencies with her. something i never accepted
but i guess i would accept it already
yet i stalked her as hard as i could. noted for someone who onli felt this twice i never know quite well wad to do. if she had asked me to wait in sun rain and thuder i will be there. if she needs me i will be there. somehow i feel i can do anything with her ard. but still i was helpless under uselessness.
and hold behold schools starts. her class is 1 class away from me. so pained feel so hated.
hated myself.
but then today i realised something.
once she told me fate will decide if we could meet
i agreeded. but she never told me everything and she is entitled not to.
her friends could meant her ex. she is still close to him i feel.
i think i believe she could go back to him
no matter i give my blessing.
wad i didnt know never hurt me
i wish i could be her one.
be him.seeing her everyday. being able to know her everyday
cherish all the time tgt
and i saw her at bus today. fate it is.
i scrambled out of my seat for her. never realising reality is on the door
her ex is sending her home..
sending her home.
her ex is her class mate, who sees her at least a infinity more then me
someone who could relate life stuff and stuffs.
someone who managed to touch her once
and broke off cause not because of the relationship
and he could be outside the lecture room waiting for her.
and i have to be 1 bus stop b4 her. waiting at different time different seats
to be able to meet at the same time with a seat for her.
more ever she wont be alone even that. someone could even walk her there.
i wished i could do that
i realised fate is shit. i promised her 457 days.
i would wait 457 days. i realise i was kidding myself.
i thot i had found someone i felt so comfortable with
but it was just me
not her
i feel her suddenly
i realise i am who i am.
reality that is not spending more time. and being not on the same frequency hurts
nothing realli matter no matter how hard i try.
i could stalk her house and get kicked out.
sometimes i wished i never knew her.
cause the more i fall for her.
the painer it gets sometimes
but to be with her knowing her it makes my day
beside her or talking to her
make me forget the pain
its the same this time.
its all me thinking more
not her.
she never wanted to be with me
she don believe i loved her.
she is too good for me
she is beautiful
yet she calls herself fat
she is so interesting yet she calls herself boring
And she is impossible to find
she doesnt see who i see with my eyes
i learnt alot again this time
she never told me things that would hurt me that much
for that i am thankful
i realli loved her.
and now i have 457 days to cry about it.
and i will spend more time studying being better
and hope
when she gets married by 20-12-2012 or 20-11-2011 or anydate
i will be there. being my best. with no regrets
that i love her.
hope the groom is someone great
no matter wad words i type. it will never be enough
she will always be the hello kitty in my dream.
i hope i can forget someone as good as her
makes me want to cry when i realise
even fate makes me meet her
reality catches up
her ex is still beside her.
forboding
too late to smile.
something left for her
love you like i never did
i never wanted to be anywhere
but beside you.
ure touch. shudders me.
ure smile. enchants me
ure pouts. soowns me
i loved u like purple stars
i know i never made sense
but in all sense
i loved u.
i don know how much u know.
but being loved for me
i never felt it b4.
thank you
i will always stand by fate and fantasy. and watch u
marry reality.
words will never be enuff .
u never believed i am chasing u.
i realli am
and it showed.
how bad i am in loving someone.
so i have to let it go.
and wait for fate to kill me.
i wish i could die now
i want to be with u
maybe she would have many questions
but never doubt my feelings
but today i had enough emotion baggage to let all of it out.
well i had my holidays. it was nothing much mostly
but i knew a girl through my friends that i met at first sight.
that i realli would fall in love with her.
she would appear distant yet close.
she is open yet so close
she has beautiful eyes with or without contacts.
and she is cheerful at best.
i loved her pouts.
though i never got to know her well enough.
but i know the holiday i had even not being with her
made my day.
but she has alot of past behind her. her ex is in her class and she is still friends with him
its hard to ignore but for her i wouldnt care if her ex lived next to her.
i would chase her to the either ends of the world if i would have the chance
she always wanted to know why i like no why i loved her
i always said love transends reasons. sometimes i feel pain just beside her.
being with her brought out me. onli had another girl did that b4. and i promised her i wont mention her again.
and said suddenly one day or maybe over the days.
she wanted me to give up.
on her.
i am not on equal frequencies with her. something i never accepted
but i guess i would accept it already
yet i stalked her as hard as i could. noted for someone who onli felt this twice i never know quite well wad to do. if she had asked me to wait in sun rain and thuder i will be there. if she needs me i will be there. somehow i feel i can do anything with her ard. but still i was helpless under uselessness.
and hold behold schools starts. her class is 1 class away from me. so pained feel so hated.
hated myself.
but then today i realised something.
once she told me fate will decide if we could meet
i agreeded. but she never told me everything and she is entitled not to.
her friends could meant her ex. she is still close to him i feel.
i think i believe she could go back to him
no matter i give my blessing.
wad i didnt know never hurt me
i wish i could be her one.
be him.seeing her everyday. being able to know her everyday
cherish all the time tgt
and i saw her at bus today. fate it is.
i scrambled out of my seat for her. never realising reality is on the door
her ex is sending her home..
sending her home.
her ex is her class mate, who sees her at least a infinity more then me
someone who could relate life stuff and stuffs.
someone who managed to touch her once
and broke off cause not because of the relationship
and he could be outside the lecture room waiting for her.
and i have to be 1 bus stop b4 her. waiting at different time different seats
to be able to meet at the same time with a seat for her.
more ever she wont be alone even that. someone could even walk her there.
i wished i could do that
i realised fate is shit. i promised her 457 days.
i would wait 457 days. i realise i was kidding myself.
i thot i had found someone i felt so comfortable with
but it was just me
not her
i feel her suddenly
i realise i am who i am.
reality that is not spending more time. and being not on the same frequency hurts
nothing realli matter no matter how hard i try.
i could stalk her house and get kicked out.
sometimes i wished i never knew her.
cause the more i fall for her.
the painer it gets sometimes
but to be with her knowing her it makes my day
beside her or talking to her
make me forget the pain
its the same this time.
its all me thinking more
not her.
she never wanted to be with me
she don believe i loved her.
she is too good for me
she is beautiful
yet she calls herself fat
she is so interesting yet she calls herself boring
And she is impossible to find
she doesnt see who i see with my eyes
i learnt alot again this time
she never told me things that would hurt me that much
for that i am thankful
i realli loved her.
and now i have 457 days to cry about it.
and i will spend more time studying being better
and hope
when she gets married by 20-12-2012 or 20-11-2011 or anydate
i will be there. being my best. with no regrets
that i love her.
hope the groom is someone great
no matter wad words i type. it will never be enough
she will always be the hello kitty in my dream.
i hope i can forget someone as good as her
makes me want to cry when i realise
even fate makes me meet her
reality catches up
her ex is still beside her.
forboding
too late to smile.
something left for her
love you like i never did
i never wanted to be anywhere
but beside you.
ure touch. shudders me.
ure smile. enchants me
ure pouts. soowns me
i loved u like purple stars
i know i never made sense
but in all sense
i loved u.
i don know how much u know.
but being loved for me
i never felt it b4.
thank you
i will always stand by fate and fantasy. and watch u
marry reality.
words will never be enuff .
u never believed i am chasing u.
i realli am
and it showed.
how bad i am in loving someone.
so i have to let it go.
and wait for fate to kill me.
i wish i could die now
i want to be with u
maybe she would have many questions
but never doubt my feelings
your love is like a shadow at 12:51 AM
0 said we can't be wrong together
0 said we can't be wrong together